


Bug Wings

by Acemativity



Series: Hurt Behind the Mask [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: (Or at least it's hinted at), Akechi Goro Lives, Akira Can't Take It Anymore, Akira and Co. hear Akechi talk about his plan to kill Akira, Akira has a breakdown and cries a lot, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Coffee Dad Sakura Sojiro, Light Angst, M/M, Ryuji is a sweet boy - he just doesn't always think before speaking, Slight Ryukita mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acemativity/pseuds/Acemativity
Summary: “Pffsh— Akechi was probably one of those fucked up kids that’d smile while pulling the wings off bugs, let’s be real—“ Ryuji said it so jokingly, looking around for any twitch of a smile, but he only caught a glimpse of something feral in Akira’s eyes as he shook violently.Akira can't take anymore hatred towards Goro Akechi, especially not after just finding out about the plans to kill him.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Hurt Behind the Mask [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777951
Comments: 16
Kudos: 261





	Bug Wings

“You know, I’m not even fuckin’ surprised.” Ryuji said it with such an accepting shrug, mouth a purse line. Makoto nodded slightly -- only Akira seemed to notice, as Ann and Haru shared a look outside of Akira’s sight. “What? I can’t be the only one who saw this comin’!”

“Maybe, but can you have some manners, Ryuji?” Ann’s voice was strained behind gritted teeth -- she kept jerking her head slightly towards Akira, but he was more focused on his breaths, the pressure in his throat, and how frighteningly cold the pit of his stomach was. Don’t let it show. You’re the leader. Leaders don’t break. 

Something soft and fluffy tickled the side of Akira’s face, small and dainty hands clasping over and bundling his own together as comfort. Haru’s sweet voice was barely a whisper near his ear, her sympathy just about palpable, “I’m so sorry, Akira. I know this must be hard..”

A choked noise came from Akira, just low enough for Haru only, “Hard? This is…”

He had no words. This wasn’t hard. This didn’t hurt. This feeling in his gut was beyond words. It was swarming his lungs to suppress any sound or feeling-- it’s sinking deep through his skin and leaving his nerves buzzing in the most unpleasant way. Hornets were under his skin, clustering where his brain should have been. This was hell on Earth. 

“Look, we have the evidence we were looking for. I know some of us were hoping and thinking on the positive side, but these are the card we’ve been given. We have one up on him now, we just need a plan,” Makoto’s expression was stony, scarlet eyes flashing with an emotion Akira couldn’t stomach in his current state. He could only imagine how relieved she likely was, full of jealousy and spite towards such a perfect pretty-boy who saw her sister the most in a day.

_I shouldn’t think about Makoto like that, she has her reasons. Even if I think it’s petty—_

Yusuke was silent, but his eyes were dead-set on the scene before him; the heavy gaze in Akira’s direction only made his heart sink lower, lower down into the cold spot in his gut. _What a spectacle I must be for someone so perceptive to emotional scenes—! Fucking fantastic!_

A bit more aggressively than intended, Akira sat straighter to lean less into Haru’s comfort and her kind attempts to help him. He was fine. When they all left, he’d bawl his eyes out — that was the only promise he could hold onto right now. That and the glove still in his pocket, feeling more bulky and heavy than before. His heart sank a little lower.

Ann whined, face burying into her hands. “I wish it wasn’t true.. This _can’t_ be happening-- we just want shitty adults to change for the better..!” _Me fucking too._

“Pffsh— Akechi was probably one of those fucked up kids that’d smile while pulling the wings off bugs, let’s be real—“ Ryuji said it so jokingly, looking around for any twitch of a smile, but he only caught a glimpse of something feral in Akira’s eyes as he shook violently. 

His eyes were the size of golfballs when Akira stood, a wounded yell ripping from his shaken form as he moved to practically pounce on his own best friend-- and suddenly Yusuke, Haru, and Futaba were pushing him away. It was chaos. Futaba was muttering with tears in her eyes, Haru was trying to de-escalate the situation, Yusuke was moving Akira to the furthest portion of the couch, Ryuji’s face had turned red, and Makoto and Ann both covered their mouths in shock, frozen to their spots.

“D-DON’T--Don’t. Don’t don’t don’t…” Any remnants of his fury were wiped as fast as he was pushed away, his shaking and seething transitioning into broken, hiccuping sobs, his palms pressing hard into his eyes as he curled into himself. Yusuke comforted him as much as he could, uneasy about rubbing his back despite how tightly Akira clung to his shirt and practically sobbed into his lap. 

“I-- I should’ve realized---” Ryuji’s voice was uncharacteristically small. He stood up and walked out with a sniff, but his footsteps never seemed to hit the stairs. 

The silence was deafening, even with seven teenagers (and Morgana) in one creaky attic -- only broken by the sobs and whimpers of their very own leader, worn down by the betrayal of a boy he’d fallen for and the expectations he felt crushed underneath. After all the time he’d spent with Goro, the stolen touches of hands and the little bumps of their mouths while smiling when it was getting late-- that night he spent in Goro’s apartment, snuggled up close together and never feeling pressed to go any further.. Was it all a ruse? An elaborate trick? ...But the things Goro had admitted-- his family situation, his thirst for revenge, his refreshingly- _real_ fury towards a father that deserved a fate far worse than any torturous death.. _Was I played? The most recent night in the attic, how Goro cried in his arms and admitted that he loved him…_ Akira tugged at his own hair to stop his internal interrogation.

Clearly the silence and later sniffles and sobs were enough to send Sojiro flying up the stairs, concerned words swept away at the sight of everyone looking down at their feet or hands and Akira a shaking ball against Yusuke. Soon enough they spoke again, trying to speak gently to Sojiro without setting off Akira further. Such soft murmurs were lost on Akira, his body too busy trying to settle down and relax, but when more hands rubbed his back and one ran a hand through his hair, easing the weight in his chest grew just a little easier. A glass of water was set out for him by Sojiro, followed by a gruff comment on dehydration and making sure not to make a mess. He put a hand on Akira’s shoulder, the gesture so much more firm and protective, before he left as well. “Don’t be afraid to let it out and depend on your friends, son. And… come downstairs when you’re ready for some curry. This batch is more on the sweeter side -- your favorite, right?”

With a stifled, shuddery sob and a nod, Akira thanked Sojiro before he went back downstairs. Now to pick back up the pieces and pretend there weren’t eight pitying gazes on him. 

“Just-- can we talk about this all later? I’m… I have to think about this all. You guys can leave, I should probably, I dunno, go to the bathhouse and eat,” Akira’s voice was raspy and hurt sounding. While Akira’s pain hurt each of the Phantom Thieves, they knew he wouldn’t be alone with Mona around.

That didn’t mean Akira went away hug-free, however. After an attempted group hug, Akira was given the tightest of hugs (Yusuke held him longer than the others, likely comfortable doing so after having dealt with him as a sobbing mess) by each one of them. Ryuji went last, making sure to snake his arms around Akira’s ribs and squeeze, his chin tucked against Akira’s shoulder. Akira felt a little quake in Ryuji’s shoulders, the hold on him tightening just a bit, before the apologies spewed out from his best friend. 

“Akira, bro, I mean it when I say that I’m so fuckin’ sorry.. I wasn’t thinkin’ and that wasn’t cool of me. At. All.” Ryuji leaned back, eyes shining a bit as he watched Akira closely. “I would never mean to hurt you ever -- you’re the best thing to happen to me, bro. I don’t ever wanna lose or hurt you. Clearly you felt differently about him than me an’ I’ll do anything to make up for the stupid shit I said.”

Akira’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, trying to find the right words for an answer of understanding and appreciation. All that came were little shudders in his shoulders, his eyes tearing up and vision growing bleary. He could only hope that his tight hug, brow pressed into Ryuji’s shoulder, was a good enough nonverbal reply for now. 

And they stood there for what felt like an eternity, hugging it out until tears were no more once again. 

“Bro, seriously though,” Ryuji started when they released each other, “I’ll do anything for you. Not just because you’re our leader, but because you’re my bro. Bros stick together, thick as thieves! Eh?”

Akira threw a weak punch to Ryuji’s shoulder, his smile shaky but genuine, “What a dumb joke… Thank you, bro.”

A mischievous look on his face made Ryuji flush, his look more accusatory than relieved, “I swear to god, Akira, if you--”

“I love you, bro.” A stupid wink, though his words really were genuine.

“Ugh, you know I l...love you too, bro. NO homo, though.”

“But what if there was a liiiiittle homo? A teensy, wittle bit?”

“Nah.”

“But bro…! All my homo!” Akira pretended to be hurt, though his smile stayed plastered on his face. Making fun of Ryuji’s initial inability to comprehend platonic affection was too great to drop, after all. It was all in fun -- and it’d somehow led to a late conversation of Akira admitting he was gay, leading to a few weeks of radio silence before Ryuji admitted to questioning his sexuality. Yusuke was just too pretty to ignore, after all.

After Morgana’s complaints of their joking and having Ryuji over for longer “than necessary,” Ryuji took his leave and Akira came downstairs to a cup of coffee and curry. Decaf coffee and his favorite kind of curry.. The waterworks threatened to spill all over again as he took a seat, incredibly vulnerable after so many months of bottling up his emotions from anyone (only letting the bottle leak a little when around Goro). 

“... So I heard you were upset over a boy.” Sojiro spoke quietly, similar in the fond tone he held for Futaba. “I know this ain’t as good, but all this here won’t be going anywhere. Not everything’s gonna change at once and it’s alright to be upset about change. Just don’t bottle it up so much, kid.. I know firsthand that it never works.”

Little was said, as Akira was more focused on practically shoveling the curry into his mouth, so Sojiro filled the silence a little more. “I won’t reopen any wounds, but I’m guessing the boy in question is that nice one that comes in here and waits for you to come home?” Akira nodded curtly, eager to distract himself with a mouthful of rice. “Well, next time he comes over I’ll kick him out, alright? He has no business here after hurting my kid. Something always felt off about him anywa--”

“It’s okay. I’d like to see him again, really. He doesn’t know that I know his secret…” Akira stopped chewing his food, his stare suddenly miles away before he looked up with wild eyes. 

_“I’m a danger to you, Akira.”_

_“What a death, though, huh..”_

_“I’m-- I’m serious. God, I shouldn’t have even let myself get this far with someone I…”_

_Akira reached out to cup Goro’s face only a few inches above his own. His palms trailed down the sides of his neck, across bare shoulders. “Whatever risk you’ve taken on, it’s worth it to me. You’re worth that risk, Goro. I really like you. I really-really like you and it hurts to see you in pain.”_

_Goro was too speechless and emotional for words, instead finding it muscle memory to kiss Akira back, working his way down, down, down…_

_That night, he’d lost track of how many times he’d told Goro that he loved him and how many times he said his name.._

Akira stood, a newfound energy surging in him and fixing his horrible slouch (though only for a few moments). “...And I think I just realized that it wasn’t all a trick… Thank you so much for--for everything, dad--”

Oh, how they both froze. 

“I-I meant to say Boss, I swear--” Sojiro was still slack-jawed when Akira moved to rinse out his mug and the plate and even a bit so when he moved to the stairs. “Uhh, goodnight d--Boss!”

At the head of the stairs, Akira’s phone was already dialing Goro’s number. 

“Akira? Is everything alright, you’re more of a texter than a caller..”

“Yeah, I just wanted to ask if you could come over tomorrow evening. I… I wanted to tell you something, actually.”

“Huh, funny… So did I. Tomorrow evening you said? I can do that-- I wanted to tell you something rather urgent too, so that works out.”

“Ah, me too..”


End file.
